House Of Star Wars Screw Ups
by tumblin2hot4u
Summary: most of em are AOTC.....GUESS WUT? 2nd CHAPTER LOADED!!hehe.....Here r some outragous, hilarious and down right ridiculous bloopers from Star Wars AOTC and some minor appearences from the other StarWars films! please,please,please,etc.etc. READ AND REVIEW
1. hehehehehe **cough cough**

**_BLOOPERS FOR STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES  
_**Before viewing, be sure you have seen the movie, have a sense of humor, and brace yourself, and DON'T DO DRUGS... STAY IN SCHOOL!!!  
  
_  
THE ARENA AT GEONOSIS_  
  
Anakin: "What about Padme?"  
Obi 1:"She seems to be on top of things."  
(Padme is on top of the colloum, suddenly she starts to wave her arms everywhere and fall to the ground of sand with a SPLAT.)  
Padme: "Oh Force, I've fallin', and I can't get up."  
Anakin: "You were saying Obi Wan?"  
Padme: "You would think that my Jedi Knight with a broken shining lightsaber would save me!"  
Obi 1: "Anakin Skywalker, its broken again?"  
Anakin: ***Full name usage again, here it comes.***  
Obi 1: "Anakin, I am going to kill you!!!!"  
George Lucas: "Whos suppose to say cut? Oh wait," *scratches his head while thinking*  
  
  
  
_THE ARENA AT GEONOSIS DURING THE FIGHT_  
  
Anakin: "You call this a diplomatic solution?"  
Padme: "No, its that time of the month and I have a gun, DON'T MESS WITH ME!!!"  
  
  
  
_DURING THE SPEEDER CHASE WITH ZAM  
  
_Obi 1: "What took you so long?"  
Anakin: "Oh you know Master, I didn't lose the keys to the speeder this time."  
Obi 1: "Thats an accomplishment!"  
Anakin: "I know, I lost the whole damn speeder."_  
  
  
Beginning When Ship Blows Up (CUT SCENE)  
  
_Zam: "Do ya want your senator fried or extra crispy?"  
Jango: "How bout burnt to a crisp or sauteed."  
Zam: "You got it!"  
(Sets off the explosive, and sends the senator's decoy flying)  
Padme: "Corde............????!!"  
Corde: "My lady......I'm so sorry........I failed you senator."  
Padme: "NO!!!!.................."_  
BACK TO ZAM_  
Zam: "SHIT.....wrong guy.....or girl....or senator......aaaahhhhh...........%$@#!!!"  
  
  
_In the Meadow When Things Get A Little....How Should I Say...OUT OF HAND!!  
  
_(Anakin falls from the Shaak thingy and pretends to be hurt. Padme runs to his aid and turns him over, he pulls a stupid face and she swings at him, he catches her arm and they roll through the grass making all the girls of the world incredibly jealous. {not mentioning any names})  
Padme: "Ouch, your cutting off my air supply!!!"  
Anakin: "And lovin' every minute of it!"  
Padme: "What!?"  
Anakin: "What!?"  
Padme: "Hun, Padme can't breath!" (Says barely with a whisper. Anakin gets off Padme, FINALLY!)  
Anakin: "Sorry." *Snickers...***That was fun***  
  
  
_  
During the battle at the Arena at Geonosis  
  
_(Creepy Jango Fett dude makes Mace Windu's cape catch on fire. Mace Windu flies through the air and lands and takes his cape off.)  
  
Yoda: "Roll, Stop, Drop Mace......Roll, Stop, Drop!!!"  
Count Dooku: "Yo Greenish Gremlin....its STOP, DROP and ROLL ya dumbass!!!"  
  
  
  
_Fireplace Scene_  
  
(Anakin had just confessed his love for Padme)  
  
Anakin: "What can I do? I will do any thing you ask?"  
Padme: "Anything.........?????? *She has a smirk on her face and is lifting her eyebrow up and down in a mischevious way* (Not that Anakin is not liking it)  
George Lucas: "What in the $#%^ are you doing, thats not in the script!"  
(Ignoring Georgey boy)  
Anakin: (Whispers in her ear...) "Anything!!!"  
(Unexpectedly, they start to make out while still on the couch.)  
George: "Hey!!!, Quit tha.....wait... this is pretty good, get a close up...yeah, yeah, right there. Come on, put some passion into it. Come on, we have to make this look good....oh yeah...thats great, yeah right there. (Sees that things are getting out of hand!.....)Wait no, now thats just plain wrong...CCCUUUUUUUUUTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
_Fireplace Scene, AGAIN_  
(Anakin....AGAIN has just confesseed his love for Padme.)  
  
Anakin: "It wouldn't have to be that way, we could keep it a secret."  
Padme: "We'd be living a lie, one we couldn't keep even if we wanted too. I couldn't do that. Could you Anakin, could you live like that?"  
(Brief Pause)  
Anakin: "Sure, why not."  
Padme: "Ok, we got that established, now what?"  
(All of a sudden Obi-Wan walks in the room with Jango Fett still attached to his wrists)  
Obi 1: "Hey Anakin, you mind, a little help?"  
Anakin: "I'm kinda in the middle of something." (*Blushes*)  
Obi 1: "Oh, pardon my intrusion."  
Anakin: "Well your not excused!"  
Obi 1: "Excuse me?"  
Anakin: "You deaf? I said your not excused. Now leave!"  
Obi 1: "No, this is where the action is."  
Padme: (Sarcasticly) "Here they go again....."   
  
  
_Once Anakin and Obi-Wan have entered the club  
  
_Obi 1: (To Anakin) "Why do I get the feeling you are going to be the death of me?"  
Anakin: "Please don't say that master."  
Club Member walking by: "Dude, haven't you seen Episode IV?"  
Obi 1: "WWHHAATT?, Anakin, you have got some explaining to do!"  
Anakin: "I Love Lucy went out years ago master, honestly, if I am going to call you MASTER, get ahead of the times!!!"  
  
  
_Balcony Scene After Anakin's *sexy* nightmare   
  
_(Padme enters and notices that he is meditating and is about to leave when....)  
Anakin: "Don't go..."  
Padme: " I don't want to disturb you."  
Anakin: "You're presence is soothing."   
Padme: "You had another nightmare last night."  
Anakin: " Jedi don't have nightmares."  
Padme: " I saw you...*shit*....I mean I heard you."  
(Busted!!!!!!!)  
Anakin:****DAMNIT***** (Then realizes that this is a good thing.) "Saw?!"  
Padme: "Is it a crime?"  
Anakin: "No, but why are you so interested?"  
Padme: (Blushes) (They Kiss)  
(Anakin walks off the off the set and goes and high fives the guys and says.."Hey, fork over the twenty bucks!!!")  
(Natalie takes Hayden and throws him over the balcony, and Jar Jar says..."How RWUDE!")  
George: "Hey what was that for?"  
Natalie: "He was betting on me!!"  
George: (tries to whisper this but Natalie hears, you don't want to know what happens after that) "Damn, I owe him fifty bucks! Let hope he's onconscious."  
  
_In the airplane thingy over the sand dunes, going after Dooku, after Padme falls out and lands hard....(YYYYYEEEEESSSS!!!!!!!!)  
  
_Obi 1: " Come to your senses, what do you think Padme would do was she in your position?"  
Anakin: ***Damn, he got ME!!!!*** "She would do her duty."  
  
  
_When Yoda is fighting Dooku, man the guys in green kick ass!  
  
_Dooku: "It is clear that this can not be won by our knowledge of the force, but with our courage to speak in complete sentences and frontward."  
  
Yoda: "Fair, that is not!"  
Dooku: "There, I win!!!"  
Yoda: "Wait, George, this is not suppose to happen! I am suppose to win!"  
George: "Yoda, you feelin alright, you said something not backwards and in a complete sentences."  
Yoda: "Does that mean I win?"  
George: "Your messin with my head now, the computer image is not suppose to stupify me!"  
Yoda: "Hey, I have an idea, how bout dressing el Dorko in red so he dies. The guys in red always die!"  
George: "But that is STAR TREK, this is STAR WARS!"  
Yoda: (Starts to jump up in the air everywhere!) "I win, I win!!! Hooray, Yippe, Ani, I win."  
Anakin: "I just lost my arm, you think that I care right now?"  
Yoda: (Yoda lands on Anakin's wounded spot of his, or what is left of his arm and wacks him with his cane.)  
"Care now you do?!"  
Anakin: " OW....OW..OW...OW....OW....OW...OW...OW..OW, WOW IT TAKES MY MIND AWAY FROM THE PAIN, R U GOING TO START TO DO YOGA ON MY WOUNDED ARM YODA?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
_Anakin Confessing his Murder of the Tusken Tribe  
  
_Anakin: "And not just the women and the children, but the men too. Why God did I have to kill the men? Why, Why?"  
(Beru and Owen are passin along the weed, and Beru hands it to Padme, she takes a puff!)  
Padme: "KEWL....! Did you say somethin?"  
(Anakin backs away slowly.)  
  
_JUST A LITTLE JUMP TO EPISODE 3, LETS SAY CHRIS TUCKER IS CAPTURED AND MEETS "DARTHY BOY."  
  
_Darthy: "You have intervined in our plans for the last time."  
(His helmet falls off and he starts to gasp. His goon dudes get it for him and put it back on.)  
Chris: "Man, you a white, guy? Sup wid dat, you need white armor like ur clone dudes, no white guy have black armor man, with those one liner quotes I should have figured it out by now."  
Darthy: "Huh?"  
Chris: " Darth, I AM YOUR FATHER."  
Darthy: "Hey, thats my line, I'm da bad boy here."  
Chris: "Sorry, it slipped, I always wanted to say that."  
(Jackie Chan enters.)  
Jackie: " Aw man, not more guys that look alike?"  
Chris: "Shit man, wud now?"  
Darthy: "Do understand the words that are comin out of my resperator?"  
(Darthy ignites his damn red lightsabor.)  
Jackie & Chris: ( in voice of amazment and awe.) "DDDUUUUDDDEEE!!!!"  
Jackie: "I want one of those."  
Darthy: "Then join me!"  
Chris: "Who gets the white helmet?"  
Darthy: "And were back to the helmet issue."  
  
**_FLASHFORWARD OVER*****_**  
  
_Anakin runs and swings his lightsaber on Padme's bed and kills the freaky lookin things.  
  
_(Anakin swings to far and kills Padme.)  
Anakin: "Damn, this is the third time this week."  
Obi 1: "AANNNNAAAKKKKKIIIIINNN!!!! What have u done??????!!!!"  
(The captain and Padme's handmaiden come in and see Padme and look to Anakin in shock.)  
Anakin: "It was her idea, **Remembering how she had suggested using her as bait as Obi 1 put it.*** "Don't look at me, it was the hairy one!!!" (Points to Obi 1)  
Obi 1: "BUGGER OFF CANADIAN!!!"  
Anakin: "Hey, we had to get rid of her somehow, she was REALLY intoxicating. I mean her, breath was one issue, don't want to go to the B.O., and that dang.......oops."  
Obi 1: "No, what were you going to say?"  
Anakin: "Uuuhhh, I forgot."  
Obi 1: "Typical teenager, hormones, slap me the pills."  
  
_Scene were Padme confesses her love to Anakin.  
  
_Padme: "I truly, deeply, love you, and before you know, I want you to die."  
Anakin: "First part very good sucking up, second part, u kinda lost me!"  
Padme: "Oops, &*^%$# that line up."_  
  
Balcony Scene, First Kiss  
_  
_(Anakin leans in to kiss Padme)  
Padme: "Wait, was that?.......Did your hairline just receed?"  
Anakin: "What? Where? Where?"  
Padme: "Right there!"  
Anakin: "Wheres there?"  
Padme: "Your asking me?"  
Anakin: "Wheres the makeup dude, someone hand me a mirror."  
Padme: *Snickers* "Finally.....I knew there was some way to get him off of me, I just couldn't figure out what!"  
  
Another jump to Episode 3...Anakin walks in with his Darth Vador outfit on.  
  
Padme: "Anakin?, What on Naboo are you wearing?"  
Anakin: "Oh this, its only temperary until they find something darker than black."  
Padme: "Oh force, what has happened to you, you have become......GOTH DARTHY!!!!!!!"  
Anakin: "Sith, I am not a goth, I am just waiting for them to find a darker color than people....I speak plan english, WHY CAN'T PEOPLE AND THEM OTHER CREATURES GET IT!?"  
  
Another Flashforward to Episode 6: Return of the Jedi  
  
_Darthy: "It is pointless to resist my son." (DDDDUUUHH!!!!)  
Palpy: "Give into your anger, I can feel your hate!" (WHATEVER!!)  
Luke: (Sarcastically) "Up yours man!!!!"_  
  
Flashforward over  
  
_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
******While chasing Zam******  
  
Anakin: "I'm sorry master I forgot you don't like flying."  
Obi 1: "Its not that I don't like flying but what your doing is suicide!"  
Anakin jumps out of speeder   
Obi 1: "I hate it when he does that." Anakin falling....and falls right on another speeder...  
SPLAT!!.....SUICIDE!!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
******Picnic Scene******  
  
Anakin trys to ride the Shaak thingy, he falls off and Padme runs over to him.He's starry-eyed and says  
Anakin: "Mommy...I don't want to go to school today...I want to stay and bake cookies with you!!"  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
******Padme Packing at Coruscant******  
  
Padme: "You have grown up Ani."  
Ani: "Yes but Obi-Wan fails to see it."  
Padme: "He does not!"  
Ani: "Does too!"  
Padme: "Does not!"  
Ani: "Does too!"  
Padme: "Does not! I WIN!"  
Ani: "Fine, why does the chick always win??"  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
******End fight against Dooku******  
  
Anakin looses his arm  
Anakin: "Quick whats the number for 911? I can use my cellphone! Lightsaber in one hand and... SHIT! I forgot about my arm!! Call an ambulence Obi-Wan!!"  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
******Nothing Specifically******  
  
Jedi Robe: $75.00  
Light Saber: $1,050.00  
Hair Style: $50.00  
Hayden Christensen as a hot Jedi Knight: Priceless  
*For everything else there's a Mastercard*  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
******Nothing Specifically******  
  
Obi 1: "Hello Senator Padme!"  
Natalie: "Senator who? Geez Ewan get it right it's Natalie."  
CUT!  
George: "Natalie, what the hell are you doing?"  
Natalie: "Nothng, I forgot we were shooting!!"  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
******Nothing Specifically******  
Padme: "I trust you now Senator Binx!"  
Jar Jar: "Misa Mucho Mucho happy senator!!"  
Later in a meeting  
Jar Jar: "right foot on red!"  
Bail Organa: "Senator....shouldn't we be working??"  
Jar Jar: "We is! Now play, and shut up!!"  
Yoda walks in  
Yoda: "What are we playing here?Ooooh Twister!!"  
He flips over to everyone and lands on the mat  
Obi-Wan walks in and trys to break it up!Except he ends up joining them!!  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
******Nothing Specifically (Episode III)******  
  
Hayden/Anakin: "You give me a red lightsaber?!?!But my favorite color is black!!_  
  
  
  
_  
  
ALL PROPERTY IS NOT OWNED BY US, SO DON'T BOTHER TO SUE, BECAUSE WE ARE JUST TWO BROKE AND DESPERATE TEENAGE GIRLS THAT HAD NOTHING REALLY BETTER TO DO ON A FRIDAY NIGHT AT 12:48 AM. this has been a G&C production, thank you for reading, give us your feedback, and **_maybe_** we will make more.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. neh neh **snort snort** weeee LOL

_WHEN ANI AND OBI 1 FIRST MEET UP WITH PADME IN HER APARTMENT  
  
_Padme: "Oh Ani, you'll always be that little boy I knew on Tatooine."  
Everyone lets out one of those faces that says...OUCH!!  
Dorme: "Ooo, that was cold!"  
  
_ZAM'S MEETING WITH JANGO  
  
_Zam: "I hit the ship but they used a decoy."  
Jango: "Damnit, we need more points on the scoreboard, my master doesn't like losing, go for the Senator next time, shes worth alot!!"  
  
_PADME AND ANAKIN ARE EATING DINNER TOGETHER  
  
_The servants serve the food the Anakin and Padme and Padme gets the bigger portion.  
Anakin: "You got the bigger piece, YOU SUCK!!"  
  
_WHEN OBI 1 IS IN SPACE FLYING AND SHOOTING AT JANGO FETT.  
  
_Obi 1:"Seismic charges....KEWL!!!!!!! I luv that sound they make."  
_IT BLOWS UP!!  
Obi 1:**"Duuuuddddeeeeee!!!!!!!!"**  
  
IN THE ARENA WHEN THE DRIODS ARE ABOUT TO ATTACK ON EVERYONE.  
  
_Padme: "Don't worry everyone, I have a capital one card."  
DROIDS SHOOT AND KILL EVERYONE BECAUSE THEY RELAX BECAUSE THEY THINK THAT THEY WILL BE SAFE WITH PADME'S CARD, ITS A FAKE!  
  
_ANAKIN AND OB 1 ARE FLYING TO CHASE ZAM WHEN ANAKIN TAKES A SHORT CUT LIKE IN THE MOVIE, BUT HE ENDS UP IN THE FORBIDDEN FOREST IN HARRY POTTER. AS THEY COME OUT OF THE TREES THE SEE THE STADIUM OF KIDS FLYING ON BROOMS.  
  
_Obi 1:" Some sort cut Anakin, she went on the other side of the set and you went on the other end of the galaxy.  
Anakin:"I'm deeply sorry Master."  
Obi 1:"Yeah you should be, you didn't get an updated speeder, look st them, they have brooms. we could get around twice as fast with those."  
  
_ANAKIN IS TRYING TO FIX THE SHIFTER AFTER IS UM....INCIDENT.....AND PADME BRINGS HIM SOME FOOD.  
  
_Padme:"I brought you something. Are you hungry?"  
Anakin: "The shifter broke."  
_Dell computer guy walks in  
_Dell Dude:"Dude, you need a dell with...."  
Anakin:"Who are you?"  
Dell Dude:"Dude, your gettin' a Dell! Cease the Dell!"  
  
_IN THE AREMA BEFORE WHEN THEY ARE CHAINED TO THE COLLUMS AND BEFORE THE ANIMALS ARE BROUGHT IN. THE "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW GUY COMES IN."  
  
Guy: "Can you hear me now? Good!"  
_Anakin:"Why would anyone call out hear?"  
Padme:"Hey, call for some help!"_  
Guys walk to other end of the stadium.  
_Guy:"Can you hear me now?" What? Why not, thats not suppose to happen."_  
He looses to line.  
Obi 1:"You idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
_Guy:"I don't get paid enough for this!"_  
_


End file.
